Control Your Emotions So Your Emotions Don’t Control You

Let’s face it: there are lots of sources of negative emotions, especially at present – global crises, hate crimes, and the endless stream of seemingly harmless social media content that, without our own knowledge, takes a toll on the way we feel. 

Our emotions are based on what our brains makes of them, and they play a significant role in our behaviour – Influencing our decisions, actions, and thoughts. Thus, gaining control over our emotions ultimately helps us become more resilient individuals.

Fortunately, there are surefire ways any person can become better at regulating their emotions, through mastering the three forces that control them:

  1. Physiology

Physiology refers to our bodies and its systems – our body language and facial expressions. How we control our bodies can dictate our feelings and emotions, and if we want to gain mastery over them, we must learn to understand how they are intrinsically interconnected.

Ever notice how slouching ultimately leaves you feeling exhausted and unmotivated? AHA! It is no coincidence. However, keeping a good posture or standing up straight makes us feel more energetic – boosting our creativity, productivity, and overall drive to move. 

Though seemingly simple and easily overlooked, the ultimate change in our emotions that comes from mastering your physiology proves the remarkable power that it holds. 

Try this the next time you find yourself feeling low on energy: Stand up straight, breathe deeply, smile, or even move around and dance! 

  1. Language

We speak to ourselves everyday – either out loud or internally – and the way we do so directly impacts how we operate and affects our own emotions and that of those around us. Language refers to the words we use and allow ourselves to absorb. It has the ability to either build us up or break us down. Ultimately, it holds the power to control the quality of our own thoughts and emotions through the words we use as we think to ourselves and express to the world. 

An average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, and 95% of those are the same repetitive thoughts they had from the day before – automatically generated by our subconscious minds. This is the part of our minds that ceaselessly absorbs everything that happens around us, and has been doing so from the day we were born. It stores all of our memories and experiences, takes all of what we say and think as a fact, and is the powerful force that handles how our bodies function. 

So how can we use this to our advantage and maximise the positive effects of our subconscious minds? Simple – Through improving the quality of our thoughts. We must learn to choose the words we use and reframe negative thinking in order to have a more positive approach.

Here are some examples that may help:

Instead of Try
I suck at this! What can I do to improve?
Why does this happen to me? What is this teaching me?
I should be more productive I deserve rest and trust my natural rhythms
Others are ahead of me I celebrate my wins, big and small


  1. Focus

It is what we focus on that determines our reality and essentially dictates how we feel. There is a saying that goes, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” If we do not like how we feel, the key is to shift our focus and direct our attention on what ultimately leads us to what we want to achieve, how we want to feel, and the person we want to become.

When you feel that your thoughts are getting the best of you and are struggling to centre your focus, try doing something that brings you joy or improves concentration. This could include exercising, reading a book, watching a video, tuning into positive people online or in person, meditating, and much more. Meditation is a great way to refresh your mind, can be done anywhere, and has a lot of health benefits above its ability to help us improve our focus and dial into the positivity we may need to manage our emotions. 

As we learn to master these three forces that affect our emotions, we will be able to better control them and find ourselves feeling more positive and fostering a more empowered mindset.

For more information about emotional intelligence and our Empower U Programs, click HERE or give us a call on 1300 039 662. 

About Us

EMPOWER U is an organisation that runs Advanced Life-Skills seminars for young people, including their internationally successful 2 Day Empower U Program, giving teenagers and young adults from around the world an opportunity to ‘leap-frog’ ahead of 96% of their peers.

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